The
Paul Rugg
Sound Page!

Check out the Key, here. Basic Character Outline

(And now, in roughly chronological order...)

Animaniacs

 Albert Einstein ("Cookies for Einstein" [R])

"If the sun is 'P' and gravity is 'H', it makes a 'Ffff'.  No, no, no, no!  The theory of relativity has escaped me!  Why can't I get it?  Why?" (52.8k wave)

"And now, to measure the speed of light. *light clicks on* *click off* Boy, that's quick!" (35.4k wave)

"How can I eat cookies when the theory of relativity has *escaped* me?!  It's all wrong.  All wrong!  I am a failure.  Einstein is a dummy.  Shtupid Einstein dummy boy." (52.8k wave)

Mr. Director

"The Warners' 65th Anniversary Special" [R]

"[‘Sane’] That cartoon was brilliant.  It had an irreverent sagacity and a lugubrious effervescence. [handed stick of dynamite] [tapping dynamite in palm:] It was genius in its subtlety.  *Big Exposion!*  [‘Silly’] Nevermiiind.”  (48.7k wave)

Lon Borax ("The Warners' 65th Anniversary Special" [R]) [Complete]

The creation of the Warners (with Jeff Glen Bennett as Weed Memlo).
(262k wave 1 min 7 sec)

Himself ("The Party" [R])

"Well?"
"[startled scream]  I thought I told you never to do that!"
"Yeah, but you never told the writers..."
"[giggling] So, then the Warners are *right* behind him!"
[Laughs dopily with other writer (who *is* this, anyway?)]
"I mean *right* behind him!"
[More laughter]
"Oh, yes, it's true!"
[More laughter still]
(19.7k wave 20 sec)

Wanted:

Sy Sykman

Yakko's World:  An Animaniacs Singalong

Mr. Director

Mr. Director "directs" the Warners through various takes of an end tag (the whole thing's engineered to showcase the various end tags made for the show ;)
(With Rob Paulsen as Yakko, Jess Harnell as Wakko, Tress MacNeille as Dot, and ehhh...  other folks, as well) (327k wave 1 min 24 sec)

Freakazoid!

Freakazoid

"Handman"

Introducing... "Handman"! (with David Warner as The Lobe) (343k wave 1 min 28 sec)

"Yes, I could see that Handman and Handgirl were made for each other.  Of course, I couldn't stand in their way.  And...  While I...  May have been losing a sidekick, I...  Knew I was gaining a daughter...  Or the upperhand, or...  Something, I dunno."
(52.9k wave 13.5 sec)

"House of Freakazoid"

"Not too pleased, huh?  WAIT!  I HAVE AN EVEN BETTER IDEA!"
"*Whimper*"
"I'm gonna dump you into cyberspace, Lon.  I think the shock might cure ya.  Or not.  But what the heck!
"
(With Jim Cummings as the Wolfman) (58k wave 15 sec)

"Remember, this isn't going to hurt me in the least.  Incoming!" (17.2k wave)

"[shaving Lon/Wolfman] So who do you like in the playoffs?"
"Mrvrowr!"
"The Mavericks?  Hya right...
"
(Again with Jim as the Wolfman) (25.4k wave 6 sec)

"Sewer or Later"

"Aha.  Looks like one of Cobra Queens little "pet's"!  Or maybe it's just a tourist who got too much sun!  I'm never sure.  [Blur transition]  Oy, let's watch the lip synch, okay? ["Blow the Man Down" selection as we do just that...  in a punny sort of way]  I thank you!" (84.8k wave 22 sec)

"Hey Freakazoid..."
"Oh.  Hi Cosgrove."
"You wanna head over to the Great Hall of Spackle?"
"DO I?!  [Freakabolts into the car]  Lemme do the siren!  Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo!
"
(With Ed Asner as Cosgrove) (43.1k wave 11 sec)

"Well.  Look who's come to visit.  If it isn't my dear friend, Atomic Boy."
"Freakazoid.  I'm Freakazoid."
"Oh!  I'm so terribly sorry, Freakazoid; The light is dreadful down here."
"Nah, forget it Cobra Queen.  You know, you should really get some of those Japanese lanterns to brighten up the place."
"The paper ones?  Are they expensive?"
"Mmm, not really.  My dad put a bunch in the backyard.  They look pretty neat."
"Hmm...  Japanese lanterns...  Who would have thought?  Devour him!
"
(With Tress MacNeille as Cobra Queen) (114k wave 29 sec)

"Your snakes don't scare me!  I've developed a *little* technique for beating them!  [To himself:]  Let's see...  First my loud Conan war cry, then charge, then grab the snake around the neck, then make something up.  I've got this snake fighting business down! [Snake's jaws snap around Freakazoid] [F! pries them open]  "*Nnngh...*  Jus' kiddin'." [Jumps free as jaws snap back together] [Runs off]" (91.8k wave 23 sec)

"The Wrath of Guitierrez [R]"

"Freakazoid, help me! [sucks in breath] Would you let your father fall?"
"My father?  You're my *father*?!"
"<pause> O-Oh ye-es!  I *am* your father!"
"Well, who-- Who was my mother?
"Uhm uh uh uhh uh uh uh...  Faye Dunaway!"
"No she's *not*."
"Uhhh...  Kaye Ballard?"
"Kaye...?  Nah."
"Would you believe Sandy Duncan?
"
(with Ricardo Montalban as Armondo Guitierrez) (100k wave 26 sec)

"Two Against Freak"

"Can you hear, or is there a goblin in your head eating my words?!"
"I don't... think there's a goblin up there...
"
(With Craig Ferguson as Roddy MacStew) (24.8k wave 6.3 sec)

"Then let's all together go now!"
(15.4k wave 4 sec)

Rockin' Man ("Dance of Doom")

"It's rockin', man!" (5.73k wave 1.4 sec)

Handman/Handgirl ("Handman")

Freakazoid marries his...  Hands... (71.3k wave 18 sec)

Paul Harvey

"Sewer or Later"

(...) (140k wave 35.9 sec)

"Dexter's Date" [R(co)]

"Meanwhile, as poor Freakazoid strained, grunted, and groaned in his FEE-ble attempt to change back into mild-mannered Dexter Douglas, The Lobe, that super-smart sinister villain with the PINK fleshy head arrived at the Washington Gardens and was about to do the unthinkable." (61.8k wave 16 sec)

Freakazoid/Satchmo ("Dexter's Date" [R(co)])

Bonjour Lobey (Lyrics here.*) (206k wave 53 sec)
"Let's throw a big..." to "...It's a big fat head!" (53.4k wave 14 sec)

Harem Girl ("A Matter of Love" [R(co)])

"Moose." (5.35k wave)

Jimmy Durante-like Singer ("A Matter of Love" [R(co)])

"If da woman
Who you're datin'
Lights a candle
Wit' her nose
And she tries
To drain your liquids
From your head down
To your toes
Gosh I hate to tell ya, buddy
Gosh I hate to tell ya, pal
But the woman
Who you're dating
Is a monster
Lady gal.
" (78.3k wave 20.5 sec)

"So, heed these words, my friend
And listen to my so-ooong...
Don't evah date a mon-ster
If you want
To
Live
Real
Long."
"If you waaant tooo liiive reeeal long!
Ba ba ba BA (bum)!
" (with unknown singers) (93.7k wave 24 sec)

Pinky and the Brain

Sultana Sultana

"My Feldmans, My Friends"

Mr. Sultana Sultana meets "the Feldmans". (with Maurice LaMarche as "The Brain/Mr. Feldman" and Rob Paulsen as "Pinky/Mrs. Feldman".) (427k wave 1 min 49 sec)

"Would I!  Would I!  Peg leg!" (7.79k wave 2 sec)

"I'm liking you more, Fahldman!"
"Please, you can call me... 'Mr. The Brain'."
"Nnn...  I'm not liking you *that* much.  Ha!  [rides off on the loaned lawnmower, laughing happily even as The Brain let's loose a triumphant "Yes!"]
" (with Moe, again) (69.1k wave 17.7 sec)

"Wait!  Don't look, yet!  My house is not a home! [Turns crab clock to face inward]  Okay, my house is a very very very fun house!  Come in, come in!" (35.2k wave 9 sec)

"Everything is hunky monkey!  Your juice is frothy like the snowman!  Or a rabid dog!" (23.3k wave 5.9 sec)

"My life is like somebody who gets the Pocket Fisherman and then loses the pocket fish!" (21k wave 5.3 sec)

"I am the president of the 'Losers Club for Losers'!" (12.4k wave 3.1 sec)

"This Old Mouse"

Sultana and The Brain discuss the latter's mid-life crisis over pool.
(With Maurice LaMarche as The Brain) (392k wave 1 min 40 sec)

Selections:

[ "Ahnyhoo!" (2.57k wave 0.6 sec)

"So, I go see Career Counselor.  *He* tell me what I should be."
"Which is...  what?"
"Paranoid recluse!  The pay is not-so-good, but the hours are, ahhh... flexible!
" (With Moe, again) (40.2k wave 10 sec) ]

Sultana leaves a present for "Mrs. Feldman".
(With Rob Paulsen as Pinky) (155k wave 40 sec)

Mr. Director ("The Pinky and the Brain Reunion Special")

"They had this "thing". It was a thing two guys have; You can't explain it.  Dean and I had the thing.  Allen and Rossi certainly had the thing.  James Arness was in the "The Thing".  Charles Grodin has that... thing on his head.  But Pinky and the Brain?  Yeah, they had the thing." (63.2k wave 16 sec)

Disney's One Saturday Morning

Manny the Uncanny

Manny the Uncanny Theme (31.6k wave)

"Hi there, ho and happy days!
Let's have some fun,
And not be laaa-zyyy!
It's true!"

From the Official Site:

"Silly noise!" (3.64k wave)
"Silly *noise*!" (28k wave)
Manny the Uncanny Sound Page

At the L.A. Circus [R]:

"Oh-*ohhh*, my *heavens*!  I have seen a monkey eat a piece of, ah...  Of *weasel*, but I've never seen a guy put a chair on a rope with an *umbrella* and wear such an outfit." (43.8k wave 11 sec)

"You know, my favorite memory of the circus was when I was a little boy.  I remember my mom said, "Your-- your Uncle M??? has just taken a monkey and swallowed it" and I said "Wow" and, you know, I thought he was sick, but he did this for the circus;  He was the Monkey Swallower. <pause>  They don't do that anymore, because it's been banned, now." (82.1k wave 22 sec)

At Space Camp [R]:

"When I was a child in my country, we didn't have Space Camp. We had... a guy named Damaculus who, for a quarter, would *throw* you up into the sky! And you'd fall on your head, but it sure gave you a, ahh... an ability to know gravity." (41.3k wave 10.6 sec)"

At the Boeing Factory [R]:

"So, that's first claaass...  Those are people that are having the champagne and, eh, candies and cakes...  And then over those people are having smaaaller candies and smaller cakes...  And then way back there, they're eating dirt!" (44.4k wave 11.3 sec)

[Screeech!]
"Try to be specific with me:  How much weight comes down on these?"
"A lot."
"Wowww...  Thank you for being so specific.
" (25.6k wave 6.5 sec)

"Try to be specific: How many parts are there to a jet engine?"
"Lots."
"Thank you for being so specific, yes.
" (27.4k wave 7 sec)

In Philadelphia (Birthplace of the Nation) [R]:

"So, you did the post office, you did electricity, you did stoves, eh--"
"Bifocal glasses!"
"*Gasp!*  Ee-The-The hits just keep on *comin'*!
"
(With Ben Franklin as, I assume, himself [Eeeet could *happen*!])
(32.4k wave 8.27 sec)

"I want to find out about some of these guys:
"You knew George Washington..."
"Mmm hmm."
"What's your impression of this guy, George Washington?"
*Ta-daa!*
"A man of great integrity."
"Um, Geuh-- George Hamilton."
*Ta-daa!*
"No, that's-- that's-- George Hamilton is the actor.  Um, Alexander Hamilton.
"
(51.2k wave 13.7 sec) (Once again with Gentle Ben)

At the College of Oceaneereing (in Wilmington, California) [R]

"They're living under the same pressure as their work, uh, depth.  So if they're diving to 650 feet, this vessel is kept at 650 feet."
"If they're diving at 800 feet, this is kept at 800 feet..."
"Thaaat's correct."
"[overlapping] *This* is why you should learn math, kids!  Don't watch TV s'much!
"
(with Tom Nix, head diving instructor) (56.4k wave 14.4 sec)

Learning to be a "Surfboard Guy" [R]

"Heyyy, cowabunga!  I'm Manny the Uncanny..." (9.76k wave 2.5 sec)

"Dude!" (2.7k wave 0.6 sec)

"Du-hu-hu-huuude!" (5.9k wave 1.5 sec)

"Duuude!" (3.1k wave 0.8 sec)

"I didn't want to say anything when I met you on the beach, but, doggone it, you don't got no shoes on, what's that about?"
"I never wear shoes."
"I'm gonna do that myself, 'cause I want to be just like a surfboard guy...  Let me point out really quickly-- [pointing to his toes]  That's Barney, Helen, Billy, Iskin, and Little Piggy.  [switching feet] That's Piggy, too.  This is Graaace, Meleunshen, Uncle Miltie, and Sandy DeFrank (?)! [on the beach]  Now, Kip, let's back up a bit-- [audio and video "rewind"]  Uncle Miltie, and Sandy DeFrank!
" (with "Surfboard Guy" Kip Jerger) (106k wave 27.2 sec)

"I am Extreme Manny!" (15.4k wave 3.9 sec)

Bumper:

"Coming up next-- More "Doug", Genie's "Great Minds", "Recess", and me, Manny the Uncanny!  Wwwow!  [slide whistle down]" (32.4k wave 8.3 sec)

Alistair Flyndiggery:

(See: Chameleon's Guide to "Flyndiggery Do!")

Tube Dweller Bob:

Bumpers [R(possibly?)]:

"Whispering" (with Peter Hastings as the other Tube Dweller, Bob) (60.4k wave 15.4 sec)
"Asleep" (with Pete again) (49k wave 12.5 sec)

Bob leaves:

"Hey, Bob?"
"Hi-looo!"
"Uh, yeah, heidy ho, Bob. Hey, uh, listen, uh... I don't mean this to be rude or nothin' like that, but... Okay -- you're annoying me, Bob."
"Whaaa...?"
"Yeah, huh, you know, it's nothing you've done personally -- it's just the way you are, act, and be."
"Whaaat?
"
(w/ Peter Hastings as Bob) (55k wave 14 sec)

S'Much, Manny's cat-kitty

"Manny the Uncanny" -- At the Cat Show [R]

"Fifth place..."
"Fifth place and there are only three cats!"
"Thank you very much..."
"Wuhhh..."
"...thank you, thanks..."
"I'm in shock!
"
(with... Paul Rugg as Manny the Uncanny!) (23.4k wave 6 sec)

"Manny's America" -- On the Schooner Woodwind [R]

[cell phone rings]
"Hel-lo-o?"
[S'much theme:]
  He's fluffy,
  He's witty,
  He stays at home!
  My kitty-cat S'much
  Is on the phone!
"Hello, S'much?"
"Hi, what's shakin'? What's a "schoo-ner?"
"A schooner is a sailboat that has more than one mast, with the shorter mast being in the front of the boat... "
"'Thanks, letmetalkto Man-ny!"
"...and the taller mast being in the back of the boat."
"'Thanks, letmetalkto Man-ny!"
"A schooner would also be schooner if they were equal height."
"Thanks, letmetalkto Man-ny!"
"Now, if you call again, and keep bugging me--"
"Manny, Manny, Manny -- I'm getting another call."
"All right, goodbye...
"
(with Captain Jen Kaye and Paul Rugg as Manny the Uncanny!) (68k wave 34 sec)

Histeria!

Nostradamus

"The Know-It-Alls"

"It's "Histeria!" Okay? Okay!" (9.4k wave 2.4 sec)

"Now -- shut up! Now, every time I would make a... "predictiation", I would write it out in my book, in the form of a little poem, like this one, here:

  Mary had a little lamb
  Its fleece was, eh, white as snew
  And everywhere that Mary went
  There was a scary guy named Hitler!

[Laughter and applause]

Okay, so -- shut up -- I predictiated that. He was, eh, very bad, and he's dead now, which is good." (107k wave 27.4 sec)

Charles Darwin

"The Chicken or the Egg" [Complete]

"Yes, well, to be honest, Confucius, this whooole argument is fac-i-nating... because neither of them came first."
"What?"
"You see... through my THEE-ory of ev-o-lu-tion, and the process of natural selection, we determined that birds descended from dinosaurs... So, a more PERT-inent question would be, 'Which came first: the chicken... or the T-Rex?' Now, I recently read a VER-y interesting--
"
(w/ Billy West as Confucius) (92.8k wave 23.8 sec)

Meriweather Lewis

"Explorer Poker"

"*I* bet the *Northwest Passage*!"
"You never found it!"
"Oh, right...  I fold.
"
(with Christopher Columbus [Maurice LaMarche's Jon Lovitz impression])
(24.2k wave 6 sec)

Animaniacs Splat Ball (Computer Game)

Mr. Director:

"Don't shoot me! ... I hurt." (10k wave 2.5 sec)

"['Sane'] Freunleven." (5.6k wave 1.4 sec)

"It's the crown!" (6.8k wave 1.7 sec)

Wakko's Wish (Direct-to-Video Movie)

Mr. Director [Complete]:

[Jazzy intro]
"Oh... LA-DY!

I know a la-dy

With high-heeled shoes,
And socks, and pantyhose;

Oh, pretty la-dyyy!"
"Aaaaahhhh!"
"Hello, there, cute puppy children, with the spooky fa-ces! Oyl!"
"Aaaaahhhh!"
"Freunleven!" [Thump!]
"I'm glad *that's* over... *cough*"
"
(w/ Rob Paulsen, Jess Harnell, and Tress MacNeille as Yakko, Wakko, and Dot, respectively)
(83k wave 21 secs)

Buzz Lightyear of Star Command

(See: Paul Rugg in "Buzz Lightyear of Star Command")

Dave the Barbarian

Dark Lord Chuckles, the Silly Piggy

Disney Channel preview

"I'm the master of evil! The master of evil!" (11.8k wave 3 sec)

"Pet Threat"

"[Tranformation sounds] [Evil laughter] Fear the mighty, devastating, blood-thirsty-- Kitten? Okay, this is... really not what I had in mind." (49.4k wave 12 sec)

"[More evil laughter] I... am... INVINCIBLE!
Ow, quit it, that stings!
Pathetic dragon... I'll defeat you with ease, and--
[*Gulp*]
Wow! That was even with more ease than I thought it'd be... with.
" (62.8k wave 16 sec)

"The Terror of Mecha-Dave"

"What kinda evil lair is this?"
"Actually, it's the Evil Lair Boutique! I just work here part time to pick up extra money. Thank you, sweets, come back soon!
"
(w/ Tress MacNeille as Fang) (34.7k wave 8 sec)

"Once I unchain Mecha-Dave, he will attack with unstoppable--!"
"Do you have Junior Miss body armor?"
"Aisle 6, by the accessory daggers.
"
(w/ Cree Summer as Browsin' Gal) (34.7k wave 8 sec)

"Ohhh, the delicious irony!" [Evil laughter]
"Do you have this in teal?"
"Oh, no, sorry. Just sea foam or melon, sweetie.
"
(w/ Cree Summer as Browsin' Gal) (27k wave 6 sec)

"King for a Day or Two"

"Anybody home? I brought another fruitcake!" (11.1k wave 2 sec)

"State... your... name."
"The Dark Lord Chuckles, the Silly Piggy!"
"Are you kidding me with that?"
"No, you stupid chair! Now, make me king, or I'll reupholster you in a really ugly plaid!"
"All hail the mighty ruler..."
"The Dark Lord Chuckles, the Silly Piggy!"
"...his-or-her word is law."
[Silly evil laughter, then pause] "'His-or-her'? What, you can't tell...?
"
(w/ Frank Welker as the Enchanted Throne) (107k wave 27 sec)

"Foo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hools! You cannot defeat me! I am all-powerful!!! [Silly evil laughter] You can't stop me! Neener-neener-neener!" [Babbles...] (46k wave 11 sec)

"With the combined power of the throne and the mystic amulet of Hogswineboar, I am invincible! BEHOLD!" (46k wave 11 sec)

"Pickled pigs' feet do not belong in jars and delis, they belong on pigs' ankles!"
"You call that a law?"
"It beats shaving cats!
"
(w/ Danny Cooksey as Dave) (46k wave 11 sec)

Carl, the Diseased Weasel

"Pet Threat"

"I'm going to destroy your happy little family, and there's nothing you can do about it!" [evil laughter] (26k wave 6 sec)

Same as above, but slowed down. (36.1k wave 9 sec)

Walkminstrel [Complete]

"Lula's First Barbarian"

"My love is like a red, red ro-o-ose! But she does-- doesn't smell as goo-ood!" [Continues...]
"Ugh... I found the volume control!" *Smash!* *Smash!* *Smash!*
"Bejabbers!
"
(w/ Tress MacNeille as Fang and Danny Cooksey as Dave) (58.7k wave 15 sec)

Visigoth Dad [Complete]

"Lula's First Barbarian"

"'Scuse me -- would you mind taking our picture?" (6.8k wave 1 sec)

"Chee-ee-eese!" (5.5k wave 1 sec)

Hapless Monk [Complete]

"Civilization"

"Oh dear. [Clang!]" (7.6k wave 1 sec)

Monkey Warmer-Warmed Monkey [Complete]

"Slay What?"

"Is it hot in here, or is it me?" (6.6k wave 1 sec)

Flat Ugly Monster [Complete]

"Slay What?"

"Sheebor, the Stomper-On-Things-Until-They're-Squished-Into-Mushy-Paste!"
[ *Squish!* *Squish!* *Squish!* *Squish!* ]
"Are ya paste, yet?"
"Not... quite..."
[ *Squish!* *Squish!* *Squish!* *Squish!* ]
"
(w/ Jeff Bennett as Storyteller and Cree Summer as Sheebor) (39.9k wave 10 sec)

Key:

[R]              Episode also written by Paul Rugg!
[R(co)]        Episode co-written by Paul Rugg!
[Complete]  The character's every line is recorded and available.

Notes:

Animaniacs episodes linked to appropriate entry of the "Animaniacs Information Page". 
People names linked to appropriate entry of "The Internet Movie Database".
Lyrics transcribed by Ron "Keeper" O'Dell.

Ooh!  Ooh!  Ooh!  Hey!  Toss me an email! =)


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