Peter Balestrieri

The Last Stick of Gum in the World

Smarty Pie


Ah, the breakdown of discipline and command.

I wish Peter was here.
            Mary Jane Parker, Spiderman

The reporter in Houdini who says, "Remarkable fella. I'll interview him today." is the reporter in The Thing who says, "Watch the skies! Keep looking! Keep watching the skies!"

Stupid babies need the most attention!
            Child Welfare Worker, The Simpsons

Oh, I forgot to say, "Godammit."

They say the black, charred part of grilled meat contains carcinogens that cause cancer. I believe it 'cause that's the best part.

My butt is a different color than a human butt.

Smart guys don't worry about pimples. It's gotta be something pretty important to make a smart guy worry.
            Shelly Winters in Phone Call From a Stranger

mango pie

the slaughter of the buffalo

Does it have a wild finish?
            I don't know the finish yet.
Go ahead and tell it. Maybe one'll come to you as you go along.
            Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman in Casablanca

Uncle Willie, may I tell you something? This morning you look like a tree full of owls.
            Bing Crosby in High Society

I passed a kidney stone on my 46th birthday. Man, did that hurt.

When Dominic sees me, he points to me.

Can duct tape go bad?

Recognize Trouble before IT recognizes you!

As Dominic was playing close to another child, that child bit his left shoulder. His skin was broken and I washed with soap and put cold towel on it, and I called Dominic's parent to let them know about him.

You're a dangerous man. That's dangerous for you.

What does it mean, to eat one's name?

That's why God invented gum.

I'll have what you have.

You wipe your nose on your nightgown.

They hurt me with the time.

You have a package below these mailboxes.

Looks like tomorrow will be beautiful.

That reminds me of what the man with the shit-eatin' dog said....

You look just like your mom.
            I am my mom.

That sounds like something ________ would say.


I wish we lived in a garage.
            We are garages.
I wish you lived in a garage,

I want you to know that Rainier cherries and corn dogs are two very special things.

powerful protector against your worst smelling sweat

How about that canary melon? Is that sweet or what?

Your butt has a face.

As though farmers had been given a giraffe and had no idea what to do with it but chain it to a plow.
            Ian McKellan in Gods and Monsters

This morning as we were exploring in Oak Room. By taking a basket from a child, Dominic got bit on his left arm. I comforted him, washed and put cold towel on his arm.

In gambling halls, he was laying
Ten thousand cattle straying

I've been jostled!

sexified, as in, "I'm sexified!"

Whattya know about that redhead pitching for me!
            Dick Powell in Murder My Sweet

In the Bering Sea, ice is constantly on the move.

In My Darling Clementine, Alan Mowbray, who's playing the drunken Tragedian, Thorndike, says farewell to Francis Ford, who's playing Dad, an old porter and Thorndike's drinking buddy and keeper, and recites something touching that begins "great souls" and then there's "alliance" in the middle and it ends with "burn."

down payment on the charnel house

It's that rarest of delights — a Deep Space Nine episode that takes place in a Vegas showroom.

More than you'll ever know.

I haven't slept since 1991.

You haven't returned my call! I need you to call me immediately! STAT!

Workers building Hoover Dam invented the first hard hats.

There are no vitamins in Percodans.

Why did you want me to write down your plan, Peter?
            Mary Jane Parker, Spiderman

no perfection, no mistakes

As Dominic was playing by the toy box, he fell on a setting position. Dominic cried as I approached to help him, Fari saw a scratch on his long bone Jaw (right side). I consoled D. and washed the scratch w/soap & water.

bad peg
bad heg
bad leg
bud leg
bed peg
ped peg

He's a cross between a ferris wheel and a werewolf.
            Frederick March in Nothing Sacred

I'm stalking myself.

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